…how could you do this to me…you knew you were leaving me…

So when you’re gone…

I’m writing this letter to myself for the day you leave… and we are no more.. I’m never going to entertain the idea of us getting back together one day because that thought will haunt me everyday. It will be too painful to imagine my future with you…. I would never be able to get over you. I never want to think negatively of you. You are amazing. You have shined a light in my life that I am going to miss so much. You made me open myself up to the idea of love again.. Deep painful love. Love always comes to an end. You are too good to be true, like most things in life. The prettiest flower will wrinkle and wither, the brightest candle burns out, the biggest smile with return to a frown, and the deepest love leaves the longest scar on our heart.

I’m going to miss you so much.. Your derp smile, your green eyes, your chest as my pillow, your arms wrapped around my back, your lips, your eyelashes, your freckles, your laugh, your “hellos”, your kisses, your sleepy face, your voice, your ability to make people comfortable, you. Fuck you. I’m going to miss you so much. I’m going to miss our hugs, our eye contact across rooms or inches apart, our rick and morty sessions, our high times (we never had low times tbh), our cuddles (ever since you showed me its okay to cuddle), our laughs, our late night and early morning dances around the kitchen, our hands holding, our neck kissing, our hair playing, our late hour talks that run so late the birds begin to chime in, our lovin, our openness with each other, our dates that turn into us crushing bottles of wine, our chemistry (is fucking off the wall) FUCK ITS NOVEMBER 6TH AND I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. COOL.